Win Win or Lose Lose?

The first picture is of my stitches from surgery and scabs and bruises from the accident caused by Justin Hicken. Notice the gash near the back of my knee, it is in the shape of his car lights or something...to this day, it is my ugliest scar. The second picture is of the imprint and bruise of his car lights on my other leg. I've been anticipating today with nerves.

Justin Hicken, the man who hit me with his car while under the influence, was sentenced today and I don't think I said all that I should have in court. I am a very nice person who wishes the best for everyone, but sometimes I just wish I could say what needs to be said when it needs to be said. This is a big vent (I hope it is therapeutic and somehow makes a difference in Utah, or even the country. It probably won't though.) It was dumb. This is what happened: Justin Hicken was in court for a DUI on August 24, 2010. He was driving under the influence again on August 25, 2010 when he hit me, an innocent pedestrian on a sidewalk on the opposite side of the road, with his stupid truck. He broke bones in my face, broke my septum, put a gash in my scalp, scratched my elbow, knee, and gashed one of the backs of my knees, broke

my tibial plateau, tore my ACL, gave me many micro-fractures, gave me post traumatic stress, bruised the side of my leg and back of my hip (which are still bruised by-the-way), worsened a back injury I already had, and ruined my dreams. He was only in jail for a few months then went to rehab. Judge McDade only sentenced him to pay a $1,300 fine and probation and to use a breathalyzer when he drives (when he drives? yes, he still drives), that is all. I think he was way too lenient and sympathetic to the criminal. I know people who have comparable penalties from just smoking marijuana. It simply doesn't add up.Justin Hicken showed up to court dressed nicely with a new hair cut and a clean shave, as if that translates into being a great person. However, I think that is one thing that influenced Judge Darold McDade's decision. I think Hicken's father's speech about how this ordeal has been a blessing in their family's life influenced his decision. However his "blessing" completely ignored the fact that I existed. I think the defense attorney's praise of Justin's school record and leadership influenced his decision. Hitler was pretty smart too and could paint pictures, but after all, he was still Hitler. I also think there was some bias or friendship that influenced his decision. Hicken's father is the prosecuting attorney for Pleasant Grove we were told by the prosecuting attorney in this case. It turns out that good ole Darold served on the Pleasant Grove city council for seven years. I think this is interesting whether it correlates or not. The defense attorney's language was so fluffy, like a bad presentation or a terrible talk in church. It felt more like a carnival than a courtroom with so much sweet talking going on.

Hicken's sentencing isn't enough, regardless of what the victim has to say. Why should someone who was in court one day for a DUI, get another DUI the next day and hit a pedestrian still have their license? If you can answer this question satisfactorily, I will buy you a copy of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and crochet you a nativity set. After all is said and done, I'm still alive, my body still hurts, and justice wasn't served. I feel like everyone lost

"Revenge is a dish best served cold."-Old Klingon Proverb. Not that I want revenge. I want justice.

I hate the feeling I have right now. I don't want Justin Hicken to not ever succeed in life or get better from his addictions, but if you tore up someone's painting, it doesn't mend it if you give them some flowers. Justin said he is sorry and I hope he really is, but sorry isn't the end of it, he shouldn't be driving and he shouldn't be out and about, even if he is doing better. I am still not whole, I still can't dance, I still feel crappy.

Here is an article. I don't sound displeased enough in it. I am so happy that Jeremy and my mom were in the courtroom with me. I should have invited everyone because anyone was welcome and I know many of you would have been happy to be there. Oh well, too late. It is so easy to wish in retrospect. DO NOT DO DRUGS! It is never worth the risks you take.

On a lighter note, Jeremy and I attended a promotional screening of "Win Win." I liked it. We had tainted fun which is better than just plain taint. Also, I know I have the support and love from my husband, family, friends, and even strangers. I know God loves me. I know things will continue to improve for me, not matter how long it takes. I hope I come out better in the end. I know I can be happy and that there are so many things to be happy about and grateful for.